Have you noticed that chap who walks around talking very loudly to himself? If he turns his head just the right way, you'll see the Borg implant next to his ear.
Yes, he has been assimilated into the Hive of the Rude Mutant collective. (Ninety-five percent of the hive is male. Go figure.)
This "implant" is actually a hands-free cell phone. The MORON wearing it has been foisted (by whom?, I wonder) on an unsuspecting public, usually in restaurants and book shoppes and lavatories, of all places. (Incidentally, have you ever been on the phone with someone and wondered what all the grunting and groaning was about on the other end? Now you know.)
What is the mutant's mission? He infiltrates our "quiet zones" and lurches around having gesture-filled one-sided conversations, perhaps with his alter ego or his inner child. Or perhaps he is getting instructions from the Borg Queen. Or the men in tin foil hats. Or his neighbour's dog. I don't know.
But I do know this: eating raw pork can give you trichinosis.
I set forth a challenge to you all: follow the creature and listen to his conversation; it's a public conversation anyway, so just walk right up and listen. He is blind to the other people around him. Report back with all haste!
4 comments:
The ones I follow all seem to be reporting their positions: "I'm leaving Kroger" or "I'm looking for my car in the Home Depot lot across from Sam's" or "I'm standing outside the double blue door." The males, at least. They are scouts, perhaps? Reconnaisance patrol boys? Bioplasmic targeting drones?
Fear not the one-sided Borg talker. They are merely giving their order to the great cosmic customer drive thru. When they die they will pull up to the pickup window and get what's coming to them.
So Skip, you've observed the creatures outside of the quiet zones? Interesting. They are on the move!
Hello . . . we're standing right here. It's not like we can hear you or anything!
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